Look What She Did to Her BF After She Caught Him on Top of Another Woman
A woman in Malaysia recently stabbed her lover in the eye after finding him on top of another woman. The details of what transpired are however sketchy. Police arrested the woman, identified as Aaliyah, for attempted murder while the injured 49-year-old Nigerian man is in hospital receiving treatment.
This sort of reaction is quite inhuman. Why should any person in their right mind go to such extremes when dealing with a cheating partner? If such reactions continue, we will live to regret some of the actions we take, which we must avoid. Listed below are five questions to learn whether forgiving a cheating partner is worth it and a five-step plan for recovery if the answer is yes.
Determine whether your partner is worth another chance.
Some partners do not deserve forgiveness. To determine this, ask yourself these five important questions:
1. Is your partner a repeat cheating offender?
When people develop a pattern, they are likely to keep repeating it. In such a case, you should not give a second chance because it will not end the cheating.
2. Why did your partner cheat?
A one-off cheating incident that has a valid explanation is a lot easier to forgive. The same does not apply to long-term affairs and repeated slip-ups. Think of what your actions would have been had you been in their shoes and felt the way they did under the same circumstances.
3. What do you think your partner will do when faced with the same predicament in future?
Find out whether your partner can give any guarantees that it will not happen again.
4. What was your relationship like when it happened?
You are likely to forgive if the relationship wasn’t great and you were aware of your partner’s unhappiness. Trusting again is quite difficult if you thought you were happy and failed to notice any warning signs.
5. Does your partner regret cheating?
You partner should be more miserable about the pain cheating has caused compared to you.
RELATED ARTICLE: How Being Cheated Affects Our Brain?
Give each other space
Do not initially react by clinging onto your spouse. Instead, let you partner know how serious you are and that you have dignity, meaning such behavior is unacceptable. You need time apart so that you can sort through your emotions in a logical manner. Use all your emotions to make a list of questions you will need answered when you meet.
Meeting up is not a kiss and makeup session, but meant to determine if there is something worth saving. Warn your spouse that you have a lot of questions you need to be answered and ask away only if your partner is ready to answer. It is important that you get honest answers even though it might be quite painful. After getting honest answers, do you feel there’s enough to work with to be reasonably confident you will pull through? It is time to start seeing each other again if your answer is yes.
Build a new relationship
The old damaged relationship is over and dead, which means you must develop a new one. As much as it might be sad, it’s also exciting. It might even end up better than the old relationship in several different ways. Innocence and trust might, however, be missing but the aim is to replace them with other qualities such as being survivors. It’s okay to feel angry, insecure, and repeatedly fight about it.
Set rules for your new relationship to ensure you get through it. Although the rules might be unique to just the two of you, it is important to consider regular updates on where you both are, checking in during the hard to cope times, and reassuring texts.
Be prepared to change
Everything we mention above caters for the victim. However, discounting your partner’s needs is unfair at the very least. Your partner had a reason to cheat. Think of what they saw in that other person yet they missed or could not get from you. Getting noticed as someone “new” by your partner after reinventing yourself is quite a challenge, especially after being together for long. Explore ways in which you can help both you and your partner achieve total satisfaction.
You might be wondering when the pain will go away to leave you feeling better. Time only heals wounds that can be healed, but you will have to put in an effort.